Great White Games/Pinnacle Entertainment Group

[Gospog]

[Gospog]

Next game - November 22nd.


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"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[XcomSquaddie]

So are you going to do a miniature for the stripper-clown?
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Jack the sound barrier. Bring the noise.
-Rat Thing B-782

[Snate56]

With a little black placard across his loins!


SteveN
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"We've got a blind date with destiny... and it looks like she's ordered the lobster." <The Shoveller>

[Gospog]

I'll see what I can do. Not to be selfish, but my first priorities are Meanstreak and the PSI-borg.

-Tom
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"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[DaRealJudas]

[kroh]

So I get this call one night that says... hey we have an opening in the NE game, you want to play?

I had a great time but of course I sketched everyone's character for a bit of fun (and some ulterior motives...)

Regards,
Walt

[kroh]

Doctor Omega:










And the character that sat in for an adventure:




Of course not all the pics matched exactly what was in their player's heads but I still had a lot of fun spilling it onto the page.

Regards,
Walt
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[Sitting Duck]

Bump.
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The rabbit is cuddly. Kids like little cuddly sidekicks. I mean-- The rabbit-- It's a time-tested-- Okay, the rabbit bites.
Blog: http://sittingduck1313.livejournal.com
Evil Wig Enterprises Minion #10 - The Fink

[Gospog]

Thanks for the bump. We play this Saturday, so you'll get a real update next week!

-Tom
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"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[Gospog]

Date: November 23
Therapist: Dr. Leonard Mortin
Subject: Omega
Session 104

DR. MORTIN: Shall we begin, Dr. Omega?

OMEGA: Yes! By all means. And I want to thank you, Dr. Mortin, for staying on as my…relationship counselor.

DR. MORTIN: Well, Dr. Omega, you released my family from the air-tight chamber that fills up with water once every 24 hours. I feel it’s the least I can do. And you’re paying me a retainer fee, after all.

OMEGA: Indeed. And a generous one. But worth it if you can help me…figure out Gina. I don’t understand it, Doctor. My minions, my henchmen, my clones, they all do as I say. They know that no dissent shall be brooked and that to disobey means death! But I tell Gina, er Meanstreak to do something and half the time she just… She just acts like a…

DR. MORTIN: Woman?

OMEGA: Yes! Thank you! What is wrong with me, Dr. Mortin? I am the rightful ruler of Earth! How…how can this…this woman…?

DR. MORTIN: Well, I see here that you were raiding another V’sori operation yesterday. Why don’t you tell me about that, and don’t leave out how Meanstreak acted.

OMEGA: And how I felt about it?

DR. MORTIN: Very good, Dr. Omega! And how you felt about it…

_______________________________________________________

Dr. Omega tried to open the sugar packet with gauntleted hands. For the third consecutive time, the packet dropped to the floor. He pushed his tea away impatiently. Sugar is for the weak.

“So”, Crab Imperial repeated, clicking his claws nervously, “I don’t know if this will be of interest to you, but as I was saying, the V’sori are busy about 30 miles off the coast of Newfoundland.”

Dr. Omega looked around at the assembled Omega Men, Crab Imperial and a mysterious newcomer in a skull-shaped mask and body armor. “What do the V’sori want in Newfoundland?”

Imperial spread his claws. “I have no idea, my friend, but if there is something there they want…”

“Then we want to keep them from getting it, yes.”

As the Omega Men finished eating, Crab Imperial introduced the man in the white skull mask. “This is the Huntsman. He used to hunt superheroes…”

”But now I look for bigger game, jes?” The man interjected.

“Well,” replied Dr. Omega, “With an accent like that, you’re prime candidate to work for me. The work is dangerous but it pays poorly. Are you in?”

“Oh jes! I am not een it for the moneys.”

“Omega Men! We are leaving.” Crab Imperial raised a giant, purple claw, “Isis, you are paying.”

_____________________________________________________

The Omega Men made preparations to head to Newfoundland. The Huntsman proved to be very adept at investigation, mainly online. He discovered that 30 miles off the coast of Newfoundland was a site of serious historical import.

At the end of World War II, Four Star and Lucky, heroes of the Allied forces, disappeared while fighting the Shugenja, their hated arch-rival. The Shugenja Dr. Omega had heard of. He was a Japanese super-sorcerer who used scrolls to cast “spells”. Fascinating.

“Dr. Saurial, make sure we pack ample medical supplies. We may be reviving super-beings frozen in stasis. Just a hunch.” The V’sori, Dr. Omega suspected, were obsessed with discovering the source of superpowers in Mankind. If Four Star was the first Super Soldier, he was a clue they would do anything to obtain, even dead.

Luckily, Isis had a fleet of submarines and she pressed the button to make two of them home in on her and show up, surface and open their hatches. As the Omega Men were getting ready to embark, Dr. Omega noticed that UPS and Vertebreaker were nowhere to be found. Simpletons! No matter, someone needed to stay and keep an eye on the comatose Hydra. They were leaving. Now.

Scrape generously offered to ride in the small, stingray-shaped submarine with Isis, but the craft only fit three. She opted to ride with Ubu and Dr. Saurial instead.

Instead, Scrape declared himself nautical Captain of the second, oblong submarine. He wasted no time in putting Dr. Omega and Reverend Burdo’s minions to work, piloting and staffing the sub. They made excellent time as a result.

_________________________________________________________

Soon, Reverend Burdo had the group illusion-disguised as Catholic Schoolgirls and they were walking the streets of Labrador, Newfoundland.
Meanstreak and Isis entered a local bar, the Black Dog, to dig up some information.

The “catholic schoolgirls” sidled up to the bar, the wooden stool creaking dangerously under the weight of Meanstreak’s metal body.

“Boy, I sure wish someone would light my cigarette.”

The bartender rushed over. “Ladies!”

“So.” Exhaled Meanstreak, “You guys don’t normally get a lot of fins out this way, do you?”

“Ummm, no. Not usually. Some just came through, hired a salvage ship and a crew. Just the other day. So, what are you ladies doing in town?”

“Umm…uh..” meanstreak looked at Isis in a panic. She hadn’t really thought this far ahead.

“We want to party!” Volunteered Isis.

The bartender’s face split into a gap-toothed grin as he looked the two “Catholic schoolgirls” over for the fifth time.

“Party!” roared the bartender.

As if on cue, the door to the bar flew open! Dave Ross danced in to the aggressive beat of techno music. “Did somebody say party?” shouted the clown as he ripped off his pants.

A short psychic probe later, and the villains had confirmed the information the bartender had shared. They loaded into their submarines and headed for the most likely spot to find the salvage ship.

________________________________________________________

Out at sea, they caught up with the salvage ship and immediately saw what the V’sori were up to. They were raising the hulk of a submarine from the depths of the sea. From its markings, it was clearly an Allied vessel. “Bingo” muttered Dr. Omega.

The Omega Men immediately launched into the plan they had prepared on the trip over.

Dr. Omega created a device from spare parts and a few choice items scavenged from the submarine (“They won’t be missed, hardly necessary”). The device allowed The Huntsman’s invisibility power to cover them both as Dr. Omega teleported them over to the salvage ship.

Seeing that the coast was clear in the hold they’d teleported into, Dr. Omega went back to the other submarine and then teleported Dr. Saurial to the salvage ship. Their two stealth specialists in place, Dr. Omega returned to the Omega Men to await their report.

Keeping in touch via micro-bead communicator, The Huntsman and Dr. Saurial reported that a human crew worked under the direction of a K’tharen overseer. In the water, more K’tharen swam around the submarine that they were trying to raise from the depths.

The K’tharen on the salvage ship whipped the humans to work harder still. “Hurry up, you maggots! The boss is coming! He’ll be here any minute!”

Two war-spheres floated around the ship as well. One observed regular patrol patterns and very nearly caught sight of the two infiltrators. But the other war-sphere was the one that attracted the attention of the Huntsman.

The Huntsman understood one thing like no other man on Earth: hunting. One of the war-spheres was clearly patrolling, but this second one…this second war-sphere was hunting.

He recalled what Dr. Omega had been able to brief on about the war-spheres. Inside the floating battle ball was a (sometimes) human brain. A tangle of wires connected the brain to the sphere itself. The Huntsman spied a tangle of wires caught tight in a rear access panel on the sphere. Perfect. Staying invisible, The Hunstman stalked the sphere until he was in striking distance…

Elsewhere, Dr. Saurial watched the K’tharen on the ship snap his head up, looking into the cloudy skies. “He’s here!”

A Manta fighter craft landed alongside the ship, floating easily on the surface of the water. From out of the flyer came the biggest V’sori any of them had ever seen! He was easily over seven feet tall and heavily muscled. Even over the whipping of the wind, Dr. Saurial could hear the K’tharen breathe his name. “B’lok.”

B’lok was not unknown to the Omega Men. He had turned down a promotion to Battle Master several times. He wanted to be out in the field, hunting treasure. He was renowned for his archeological and oceanic discoveries, even among mankind.

B’lok conferred with the K’tharen briefly before impatiently striding over to the edge of the salvage vessel. He raised his arms high and the submarine below the surface started ascending rapidly.

Back in the larger submarine, Dr. Omega placed a hand on Reverend Burdo’ shoulder. “Brace yourself.”

_________________________________________________________

On the formerly sunken US submarine, power had long since cut out and it was very dark. Dr, Omega switched to infra-red vision and found two bodies encased in ice in the rear of the ship. “Ah.” Muttered the Doctor, “Four Star and Lucky, I presume?”

From the front of the sub, Burdo called out that he’d found another body trapped in ice. It was The Shugenja, Japanese super-sorcerer!

Dr. Omega produced a blowtorch and set about freeing the greatest heroes of World War II. He also keyed his micro bead. “This is Omega. We need time to work. Attack now.”

The micro bead clicked twice, “This is the Huntsman? See that big guy wit the cape and stuff, ok? Dibs.” Another click.

___________________________________________________________

Outside of the old American submarine, all Hell broke loose!

The Huntsman and Dr. Saurial charged B’lok. They managed to use the steel cabling from the salvage crane to hang B’lok, but it didn’t seem like it was slowing him down.

Under the sea, a V’sori water craft launched torpedoes at Isis’s submarines. They missed but before she could return fire, two K’tharen swam from the submarine being salvaged to attack the craft holding Isis and Ubu!

Seeing that his vessel was on its’ own against the V’sori craft, Captain Scrape started bellowing orders to his crew. The submarine was long and narrow, save for its’ bulbous twin engine at the rear of the craft. The sole torpedo tube was at the front of the craft. “Swing this thing around and prepare to eject our load. You heard me, seamen! Move!”

The submarine pendulously swung about, to point at the V’sori craft, which was closing fast.

“Fire!”

The torpedo tube belched, ejecting its deadly cargo: Meanstreak! Propelled by the tube and her own super-speedy legs, the metal-skinned villainess rocketed into the V’sori craft, smashing its view port! Meanstreak clicked on her vibro-knives and stretched her arms out in front of her. The depth they were in muffled the screams of the dying V’sori in the craft.

Captain Scrape brought the craft up sharply, aiming to disgorge his seamen onto the salvage ship. “Hard to port!” bellowed Scrape, fervently hoping that ‘port’ meant ‘left’.

Up above, B’lok had thrown off the impromptu noose and was trading blows with Huntsman and Dr. Saurial.

__________________________________________________________

Inside the American sub from WWII, Dr. Omega had finished defrosting Four Star and Lucky. He handed Reverend Burdo the blowtorch. Turning back to Four Star and Lucky, he could see them starting to come around but they clearly could not move yet. Being Dr. Omega, he seized the opportunity of a captive audience.

“Four Star! Lucky. Listen carefully, we have very little time. You have been frozen in ice for over sixty years. America won the war, thanks in no small part to heroes such as…me. The Axis Powers are now our allies and we all have to work together to face the true foe: aliens!

Yes, aliens have invaded Earth and seek to subjugate us all, Axis and Allied alike. But I have formed an organization that opposes them! With brave men such as you by my side, we will push back the alien tide! We will fight! We will take the fight to them! To space and beyond! We will herald a new age for Mankind! An age of freedom! The Age of Omega!

So…who’s with me? Blink once for yes.”

Four Star blinked and blinked hard. The ice crystals clinging to his eyelashes crushed from the pure heroic effort of his blink.

Lucky…did not blink. His eyes swiveled to find and lock on Dr. Omega. Lucky’s eyes were clearly and vehemently defiant. Defiant! Dr. Omega clenched his fists, then reached or the bag of medical supplies. Defiance is not tolerated.

“Oh no!” Shouted Dr. Omega, rushing to Lucky’s side. “He’s gone back into shock! It’s too much! What did those Nazi bastards do to you?”

Dr Omega deftly disassembled parts of his energy pistol, combining them with the medical supplies the Reverend brought and making sure that Four Star could just barely see him working feverishly to save Lucky’s life.

“Oh God, no! He’s lapsed into myocardial infarction! We’ve got to try and start his heart back up before it’s too late!”

Dr. Omega lay the energy blaster “med pack” paddles on Lucky’s chest.

“Clear!”

The submarine interior lit up briefly.

“Don’t you die on me soldier! Don’t you die on America! Clear!”

Again, the chamber lit up. The smell of cooking meat filled the submarine.

“Nooooooooo!” Dr. Omega made sure he was where Four Star could see (the Allied hero could just about turn his head now). Dr. Omega dropped to his knees and raised his blood-stained hands to the heaven. “Why God, why? Noooooo!”

A blue-tinged hand rested on Dr. Omega’s shoulder. “I-it’s ok, Doctor, y-you did all you c-could.”

Four Star was standing up and clearly recovering quickly. Lucky was not getting up.

“But Four Star, I failed you. I failed America.”

“No, Doctor. We haven’t failed. We haven’t failed if we go get the na-“

“Aliens!”

“-the alien bastards who did this to Lucky. I was going to say ‘nazi’, actually.”

“Four Star, in the right light, you won’t even be able to tell the difference.”

“Well aright, then! Let’s get ‘em!”

Behind his metal face plate, no one could see Dr. Omega smile.

________________________________________________________

Outside the submarine, mass chaos still ensued. Distracted by his fight with B’lok, The Huntsman barely had time to notice the V’sori war-sphere dart out from a doorway on the ship and float towards him. Twin ion rifles cycled up to fire as it closed in.

The Huntsman paused and put his fingers to his lips. He blew a piercing whistle. “Rex! Sic ‘em!”

From behind a corner on deck, the other war-sphere rocketed out! It’s wiring had been “corrected” by The Huntsman. It locked one the other war-sphere and opened fire. Twin energy blasts tore the other sphere to pieces!

“That a boy, Rex!”

The Huntsman was yanked violently backwards by the renewed attentions of the V’sori giant. Dr. Saurial, meanwhile, had slithered over to the controls of the salvage boom. The Hunstman rolled with the force of a punch that could shatter concrete, trying to bring his hunting spear to bear.

Farther to the front of the ship, Meanstreak had run up onto the deck and assisted The Omega Minions and the minions of Reverend Burdo in herding all of the Newfoundlander crew into a huddle on the deck of the ship.

Dr. Saurial waited until The Huntsman had maneuvered B’lok out over the water again (or had B’lok maneuvered The Huntsman?). Then he quite literally “lowered the boom”, manipulating the controls of the salvage equipment to drop the salvage boom onto the head of B’lok!

In an effort to not hit The Huntsman in the bargain, the boom landed a bit to one side, striking the massive V’sori in the arm…and tearing it off.

“Oooh, dat’s gonna hurt, ok?” Shouted The Huntsman as he labored to drag B’lok onto the salvage ship. “Nice work, Dr. Saurial guy. Where’s Dr. Omega, we got a prisoner.”

___________________________________________________________

Dr. Omega was hustling between ends of the submarine. On one end, he was tending to Four Star, helping him recover from his long sleep and trying to prepare him for the 21st Century.

At the other end of the sub, he was working with Reverend Burdo to do the same for The Shugenja, who has recovered his faculties much quicker. Knowing that re-introducing these mortal enemies right now would be a mistake, Dr. Omega teleported The Shugenja over to the salvage ship where the rest of the team was mopping up.

Returning to the Allied sub, Dr. Omega and the Reverend Burdo held a brief service for Lucky before helping Four Star wrap him in an American Flag and giving him a hero’s burial at sea.

With that, Dr. Omega teleported the three of them to the larger submarine and coordinated with the rest of the Omega Men via micro-bead.

__________________________________________________________

On board the salvage ship, Dr. Omega had just dropped off The Shugenja on the deck before teleporting away. The Shugenja took a look around and spotted a sailor who had duck tape over his eyes and had his hands duck taped to his head. (Meanstreak’s handiwork). The sailor was staggering around blind, trying to break free. The Shujenga took a quick look around and pushed the sailor overboard into the icy cold water.

“Well,” observed Dr. Saurial, “He’ll fit in.”

A crowd had gathered around the fallen V’sori giant. One of the minions of Reverend Burdo pulled his gun out, determined to finish the monster right then and there.

“No!” warned Scrape. “Dad wants him alive!”

The minion aimed his gun anyway. Scrape’s fist slammed down on the masked minion’s head, causing it to explode like a ripe melon.

The other minions holstered their guns and decided to check other parts of the ship for V’sori hold-outs.

Dr. Omega chimed in on the micro-bead. “Anyone hear from Isis?”

The line clicked twice. “This is Isis. Me and Ubu just killed a K’tharen! We both stuck our swords in him at once!”

“Outstanding. Let’s get everyone…and my prisoner, loaded onto the subs and get out of here before the V’sori hear what just happened.”

“This is Dr. Saurial. I’ve taken the liberty of getting this Manta ready for take off. I’ll be flying it back to Isis’s lair.”

“Excellent. And Isis can take our…other honored guest to her lair.”

“This is Scrape. Does this mean there’s room for me in Isis’ submarine?”

“NO!”

__________________________________________________________

Back at the Omega Dome, the Omega Men made their new guest comfortable. “Sorry about the sleeping bag and burlap sack for a pillow, but the fascist V’sori keep us from living like free men.”

“It’s quite alright, Dr. Omega. I just hope we don’t rest long. I cannot wait to smash some Nazis!”

“V’sori.”

“Ok, sure. V’sori.”

Dr. Omega went to the Med Bay to check on their other guest, the supervillain Hydra. Hydra had been left in a coma, with UPS and Vertebreaker to watch over him while the others were in Newfoundland.

Dr. Omega entered…an empty room. Hydra was gone. Dr. Omega looked down. Hydra was gone, but at least he hadn’t stolen the comfortable slippers that they’d left for him, just in case. “And they say there’s no honor among thieves. VERTEBREAKER! Where the hell are you?”

Scrape shambled up with a note sticking to his…it was stuck to him. The note read (poorly) “Dad- Went to git pizza. Took teh Russin. –Vertebreakir”

Dr. Omega’s sigh was amplified by the speakers in his helmet. “Your idiot brother is out for pizza with UPS. Hydra has rejected our generous hospitality, even after we rescued him, and has run away.”

“Well, you did try to have a stripper clown forcibly probe his mind while he was in a coma.” Scrape pointed out.

“Not helping.”

Dr. Omega lost control of his anger and put an armored fist through a bank of monitors with a resounding crash. Four Star turned, startled by the noise, to see the Doctor fuming with rage.

Scrape carefully led Four Star away, “Come on, I’ll show you the Rec Room.”

Dr. Omega sighed again and slowly stomped over to plug in his floating command chair. Without UPS around, it was the extension cord tonight. He clambered up onto the throne and rested his chin on his steepled gauntlets. He idly flicked a koala bear off the command chair as he considered his next move…
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"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[Sitting Duck]

[XcomSquaddie]

[Gospog]

You want disturbing? I still need to work up a miniature for Dave Ross!
_________________
"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[Sitting Duck]

[XcomSquaddie]

[Gospog]

Sitting Duck, Reverend Burdo actually looks a lot like Rasputin, as depicted in the Hellboy comics. His attitude is a little less glib than the priest in that comic strip, but the lack of respect is spot-on.

XcomSquaddie, thanks for the links. I'll tackle that project next year, at the earliest. I may take the opportunity to practise my sculpting on a mini that will have little or no clothes. We'll see how ambitious I feel.

Thanks for all the feedback, guys. I do believe that the next sessino has been scheduled for mid-December!

-Tom
_________________
"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[XcomSquaddie]

[Gospog]

And did I mention that next game is December 27th?

Ho! Ho! Ho!
_________________
"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."

[Gospog]

Hey everyone, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Not even the holidays can stop our gaming!

Game 08 was a blast, as you will see below...
___________________________________________________________

Date: December 28
Therapist: Dr. Leonard Mortin
Subject: Omega
Session 109

DR. MORTIN: Dr. Omega, good morning. How are you feeling?

OMEGA: Big!

DR. MORTIN: Big? Er, oh…is this the result of your trip to miniature size?

OMEGA: Indeed. Returned to my rightful macro-state of magnificence, I feel larger than proverbial life, Doctor. The V’sori are the insects! I will crush them!

DR. MORTIN: Ok, good. And how is your relationship with Gina progressing?

OMEGA: Meanstreak.

DR. MORTIN: Meanstreak, yes. How is that going?

**uncomfortable silence**

OMEGA: I shall now relate to you our subatomic adventures, Doctor! You would do well to listen!
________________________________________________________

Dr. Omega looked around the Omega Meeting Table. Not a bad turnout this month. UPS, Scrape, Vertebreaker and Dr. Saurial stared back at him. There were some notable absences, of course.

Isis was in Cairo, shooting a commercial for Egyptian television. Promoting a new perfume, “Eau de Lazarus” or something. Reverend Burdo is out of state as well, tending to his flock. His loyal followers had been persecuted more and more since the Star Gods incident.

The Huntsman was also nowhere to be found. A note in his atrocious handwriting was taped to Dr. Omega’s control panel. It (probably) read “I’ve always wanted to hunt Tommy Lasorda. Back in three days -H”. Fair enough.

Sitting next to Dr. Saurial was a boy of approximately five years of age. He had pale, almost translucent skin and eyes a little too large for a human, let a lone a child. “Thisss is my offssspring, DK.”

“Fascinating. Who is the mother?”
“He is the biological fusion of my seed and the fetal tissue harvested from a rebel named Ramirez. Technically it was clone fetal stem cells created from the DNA taken from one of her follicles, but let's not split hairs."

Dr. Omega nodded to acknowledge the joke. Vertebreaker found something stuck to the bottom of his folding chair…and ate it.

“Well young man, if you are the fruition of your father’s research into genetic decay and entropy, you may be interested in making a little money by disintegrating koalas in the Omega Dome.”

“Why?”

“Well, I’ll give you a quarter for every dead koala. Cash.”

“Why?”

“Because a dollar for each would be excessive.”

The boy fell silent.

The “doorbell” of Quicky’s Fish Cannery (above the Omega Dome) rang loudly. Scrape was once a gain just a little quicker than Vertebreaker, “Door! Got it!”

A minute or two later, Scrape returned with an Indian gentleman who was wisely keeping his distance from the hulking villain. With them was a young girl, maybe 17 years old, dressed as a fairytale princess. Scrape was in the process of crushing her long, pointy hat and handing it back to her, “This will fit better now.”

The Indian man spoke, “Are you Dr. Omega? The Omega Men?”

“Indeed”, Dr. Omega replied, “And who exactly are you? It’s a little late in the year for trick or treating.” (Scrape and Vertebreaker looked excited, then disappointed at this announcement)

“Wha-? Oh, no! My name is Sanjay Gupta. I’ve come here to offer you an amazing gift: access to the lab of…Dr. Devolution!”

A hush fell over the room. The Omega Men had all heard of Dr. Devolution. Once a villainous genius, Devolution had allied with the heroes of the world when the K’tharen invaded. He died with the heroes as well, in the attack on Washington DC by the V’sori. Devolution was an absolute genius when it came to genetics and biological sciences. There was not a scientific field he had not made breakthroughs in. Access to his lab would be…major, both to Dr. Omega and Dr. Saurial.

“Ok” said Dr, Omega, “What’s the catch?”
Gupta pointed to the girl with him. She was imploringly asking Scrape and Vertebreaker if they’d seen her sassy and irreverent penicorn, Merv anywhere around here. “He answers to Merv, he is the noblest of steeds!”

“She is…you must take her! She is going to bring the V’sori down on me, I know it! I’ve inherited all of Dr. Devolutions’ money; I’ve got a good thing going here. But she’s going to ruin it!

During the invasion, she must have been a minor hero or sidekick or something. The V’sori must have captured her and…experimented on her or something. And it worked. Probably.”

“Probably?”

“Well, there’s no way of telling if she had psi powers before their interference, but she has them now! I think she was in a medically-induced coma. As far as she’s concerned, she’s used her powers for the last few years to-“

“Fight evil in a magical land of rainbows and penicorns!” The girl raised her arms triumphantly.

“Penicorns?”

“Listen, even as Dr. Devolutions’s assistant, I specialized in biology and security, not Freudian dream interpretation. As best I can tell, the V’sori have had her asleep in some kind of psionic virtual world for years. What they showed her, or what she imagined…I have no idea. She clearly still thinks she’s a princess. And she still wants to find-“

“Merv!”

Dr. Omega and Gupta sighed simultaneously. Maybe the lab of Dr. Devolution was not that great a prize.

Gupta continued, “She’s calling herself Arclight and is basically amnesiac, apart from her ‘memories’ of this fantasy world. Sometimes, she calls herself Princess Moonrazor. I’m not sure why. Her grip on reality doesn’t seem to be getting any better.”

“Still” said Dr. Omega, “She may be the only evidence of success by the V’sori of artificially awakening powers in a human. They must want her very badly. To say nothing of the possibilities of reverse-engineering the experiment…”

Dr. Omega and Dr. Saurial exchanged a meaningful look. Dave Ross leaned in close (but not too close) to Scrape and whispered, “This Gupta guy is telling the truth, boss.”

“We’ll take her.”
___________________________________________________________

They stood in the beautiful gardens of Dr. Devolution. Devolution amassed a considerable fortune before his death. His mansion was no less impressive than his gardens. His lab would have to be more impressive still. And Gupta apparently had no interest in it.

But Devolution knew that plenty of people, people like Dr. Omega, would have an interest in his lab. So he hid it away…by shrinking it!

Sanjay brandished a shrinking ray in front of the villains. “I’ll be using this to shrink you down. Then you’ll travel into this drain pipe here and enter the lab. There’s a combination to the shutter on the drain. 2634? 2635? Something like that.”

“Anyway, once in the lab, help yourself, just please take the girl away from here! The doctor had another size-changing ray in his lab, as well as a sort of drill craft, to return you to the surface. Return here to me and I’ll gladly restore you to full size.”

Dr. Omega assumed a suitable menacing stance. “Mr. Gupta, your behavior implies that you’ve done a respectable amount of research on myself and the Omega Men. Are you familiar with the PSI-borg?”

“Umm…er, n-no?”

“The PSI-borg was once one of the murderous robots of Terron. I replaced its primitive circuitry with the brain of a V’sori Battle Master….loyal to me. It lives to kill, at my command. Every 24 hours, my armor tries to send a signal to the PSI-borg to home in on my armor and kill everything around me in a mile radius. Every day, I abort that signal. If I were…indisposed and could not send that signal…from your home…”

“Dr. Omega, I assure you that this is not a trap. I have no need for my former employer’s lab. He’s left me everything and I’m no mad scientist. But if someone does not remove the girl soon, I may end up simply mad. In this deal, everyone wins.”

Dave Ross leaned in to whisper in Scrape’s lump-like ear again, “I checked his mind again and he’s legit. While I was in there, I lifted his bank account and PIN numbers. Dr. Devolution just left us everything.”

Scrape and Dave Ross shared a chuckle as Gupta turned the shrinking ray on the first few villains. Dr. Omega was the last to be shrunk.

As he was diminishing, Omega saw two V’sori arrive in the garden, apparently drawn by the use of the shrinking technology (Omega made a mental note). They grabbed the shrink ray from Gupta and were leading him away as Omega shrunk below the threshold where the normal-sized world still made sense.

“Hmmm. That’s not good.” But the villainous genius had no time to worry about their new benefactor. As he arrived at microscopic size, he saw that the Omega Men were already being attacked by giant mutated fire ants!

“Impressive, Devolution. Very impressive.”

The ants were incredibly strong and fast for creatures so massive! Vertebreaker was quickly surrounded, several ants crushing him with steel-like pincers and mandibles. Shards of bone littered the landscape, which was made up of giant blades of grass and various objects scattered on the ground.

The drain pipe was clearly visible and UPS was floating near it, trying to hack into the access panel for the shutters that blocked access to the lab. All around, the Omega Men were being forced back by voracious and aggressive giant ants. Dr, Omega turned on the PA system in his armor.

“Anemic arthropods, you cannot stop the maniacal machinations of Dr. Omega! Prepare to die for your queen! Omega Men…destroy them!”

But the Omega Men were too busy fighting for their lives to pay much attention to the inspiring words of their leader. Scrape jumped into a crowd of ants, slashing all around with his vibro-knife and clubbing with his misshapen club hand. Suddenly, a massive tumor swelled on his back, erupting in a shower of pus and short, stumpy grotesque creature that landed on its glistening feet and produced a gun from…somewhere.

Scrape looked behind him and saw the issue of his diseased flesh. “I’m a dad!”

Vertebreaker wasn’t so busy being eaten by ants that he didn’t notice the expulsion of his nephew into the world, “Why…how does he have a gun?”

“Well, I’ve absorbed all kinds of people. You never know what’s in there. Er, in me.”

The dripping homunculi set to work immediately, gunning down giant ants and showing little regard for Uncle Vertebreaker, whom he hit accidentally.

Meanstreak blurred into action. She ran up and over an ant, leaving an anti-tank mine stuck to its chitinious back. A second later, a directed blast strong enough to breach military armor blew the ant’s insides out. It died as Meanstreak extended her vibro blades and selected another target.

Dr. Saurial took cover behind a nearby twig (now massive to the villains), blended into it, and blasted at the ants, joined by the psychic blasts of Arclight and the furious gunfire of Dr. Omega’s undocumented minions.

Dr. Omega himself spotted a penny, discarded to one side of the drain. He strode over to the coin, now massive to him, and extruded his charging coils from his armor, touching both positive and negative to the copper coin.

Omega then produced a large sack of sugar from the pockets in his cape. Never again would he have to try and open a sugar packet with metal gauntlets on! Glancing at the giant fire ants, he dumped the sugar onto the penny and waited…

Meanwhile, the tide of battle was slowly turning. Although all but one of the Omega Minions was dead, Vertebreaker was now no longer mobbed by crazed ants and was fighting back, side-by-side with Scrape. Dead ants littered the spaces between the giant grass blades.

Several ants wandered over to the penny, drawn by the mound of sugar, they climbed onto the giant coin itself. Dr. Omega electrocuted them as he waited for UPS to get the shutter on the drain opened.

As quickly as it had began, the fight ended. The ants (and three Omega minions) were dead and the shutter slid open with a series of beeps “Ah! 2636!” shouted UPS as he floated inside. The rest of the Omega Men limped inside and shut the portal behind them, to keep out any more fire ants.

___________________________________________________________

The lab was everything they’d been hoping it would be. Five chambers full of scientific wonders lay spread before them. The walls were antiseptic white and there was a faint humming in the air.

Dr. Omega made a straight line to the parts depot near the entrance. “Look! A cyclonic accelerator. But I’ve never seen one so small!” Dr. Omega also found what was clearly the twin to the device that the V’sori took from Gupta. A size-altering raygun. He placed it in a holster at his belt.

Taco, the remaining Omega Minion, made a discovery in the opposite chamber. “Mira! Peelz!” He found a rack of brightly colored pills marked “Hyper health nutrition capsules.” A dozen pills gleamed in the sterile white light.

As Taco immediately ingested a capsule, Dr. Saurial slithered into yet another chamber, drawn to a rank of frosted, man-sized cryogenic capsules. Unfortunately, the reptilian doctor was so distracted by the capsules, he ignored the webbing on the ceiling until it was too late!

Giant trapdoor spiders sprung their trap. They had created a layer of webbing to disguise their presence until they attacked. If Dr. Saurial did not himself travel on the ceiling, he would have been taken completely unawares. As it was, he was shocked when four of the murderous arachnids burst from concealment and bit him. They pumped virulent poison into his blood as the whole group crashed to the floor.

The rest of the group had discovered a power control center and the drill-like escape craft. But they were torn away from their discoveries by Dr. Saurials’ cry of surprise. Suddenly, trapdoor spiders were everywhere!

The battle was as vicious as it was brief. The villains cut into the spiders, crushing furry black bodies all over the lab. Taco was feeling the effects of the pill he’d swallowed. Blue lightning played around his eyes and fingertips. “Soy El Chocar!” he screamed as he zapped a trapdoor spider, causing its hairy, bloated body to explode in a shower of gore.

Dave Ross and Vertebreaker were impressed by Taco’s transformation and fought their way over to the pills. They began cramming fistfuls of pills down their throats as fast as they could. Vertebreaker began growing more and more muscle mass. Soon, he was so muscle-bound, he could barely walk.

Dave Ross took his pills and sprouted a distinctly phallic member from his forehead. “Merv!” shouted Arclight; she was too far away to see that this was not her faithful steed.

The last of the spiders fell to the floor with a thud. Dead spider bodies and greenish arachnid guts lay everywhere. Severed eyes and bits of legs clung to the spattered walls. Suddenly, the lab was not such a fun place to the Omega Men.

They loaded the unconscious Dr. Saurial into the escape craft. He was followed by a heap of tech gear and two of the cryogenic stasis pods. One of the pods even had an occupant! But Dr. Omega resolved to defrost this mystery man later, once they were away from this place. Scrape made us of the other cylinder, carting some mind-controlled fire ants and spiders home in it.

They powered the drill device up and strapped in.
__________________________________________________________

Back at the Omega Dome, the Omega Men immediately busied themselves. Dr. Omega and a revived Dr. Saurial prepared the cryogenic tube with the man in it to “defrost”. Dr. Saurial refused to rest, insisting on overseeing this task personally, despite his injuries.

The remaining Omega Minion, El Chocar, was chasing koala bears, shouting “Veinticinco centavos!” every time he zapped one. Dr. Saurial looked over at Dr. Omega, both plugging in power couplings. “Doesss he know that the effects will wear off in twenty-four hours?”

“Based on the costume he’s created for himself out of felt and garbage bags, I’m guessing no, he does not.”

A few short hours later, the cylinder was thawed, along with its occupant. The Omega Men gathered around as the tube cracked open with a pneumatic hiss. The glass door swung wide, revealing a naked man, clearly alive and now awake.

Dr. Omega was standing directly in front of the capsule and he folded his arms, striking his favorite dramatic pose.

The formerly frozen man’s eyes fluttered open. He saw Dr. Omega.

“Are you…my master?”

Dr. Omega’s faceplate his sinister smile.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

END (for now)
_________________
"I am forced to believe you guilty of impertinence, impiety, disregard and impudicity."