Deadlands Song Parodies

The Devil Went Out To Washington
(To the tune of "The Devil Went Down To Georgia.")

By Doctor X

The Devil went out to Washington, he was lookin' fer a soul to steal.
He was in a bind, cause he was way behind, he was lookin' to make a deal.
When he sees this guy at a table, making notes behind a screen.
So the Devil pulls a chair up and says "Boy, lemme set this scene.

Now, you may not have realized, son, but I'm a Marshal, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare, I've a little wager fer you.
Now, you spin yarns pretty good, pre-published and home-brew,
But I've a screen of gold against your soul, cause I think I'm better than you."

"Well," the boy said. "My name's Doctor X, and it might be a sin.
But I'll have that screen, if you know what I mean, 'cause I'm the best there's ever been."

Doctor X, pick up your dice and shuffle up yer cards.
Cause the Devil's sittin' 'hind the screen, and you know he slings 'em hard.
And if you win, you'll get this shiny screen made out of gold.
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul.

The Devil whipped his dice bag out and said "Let's start this yarn!"
And fire flew from his fingertips as he laid the minis down.
Then he drew three chips from the Fate Pot, and you know all three were blue.
And a posse of demons all showed up and they gamed the whole night through.

(Cool electric bit impossible to simulate here.)

When the Devil handed out bounty points,
Doctor X said "Well, that's nice.
But you'd best grab on to yer character sheet,
C cause you're in fer one Hell of a fright!"

He ran...
This Harrowed Ground and Night Train, too!
Bloody Ol' Muddy and a few homebrew!
Forbidden God and Ground Zero!
Skinners and the Devil's Tower trio!

The Devil packed his dice up, cause he knowed that he was beat.
And he laid that screen of solid gold at Doctor X's feet.
The Doctor said "Devil, just come on back any time you think you got the stones."
The Doctor set his screen up and went back to makin' notes.

He ran...
This Harrowed Ground and Night Train, too!
Bloody Ol' Muddy and a few homebrew!
Forbidden God and Ground Zero!
Skinners and the Devil's Tower trio!

The GR Posse's Songs

Here are some wonderful parodies written by Dirk Ringersma's GR Posse! Please be warned these are definitely PG-13! If you want to see more of these funky tunes, check out the GR Posse's site at http://dark-sky.net/deadlands/pueblo/songs.html

Pueblo Town
(To the tune of "Mac Arthur Park")
Parody by Mike Golczynski
Thanks to scott fer gettin it stuck in my head

I recall the time the reverend Hines attacked the city.
And before long Father mac burned down the church.
and then john tried to follow but instead, the popped his eyeball out
and hung him upside down.

CHORUS
Pueblo town is frightening in the dark
My dead army buds are running wild
Because we didn't shoot them in the head
Well I'm feelin kinda dirty
Cos i went and shot McMurty
and his boys are coming to extract revenge...OH NO!!!!

I cannot approve of will as sheriff
Cos he started the brawl that left 16 men dead
I got promoted to the great town council
Well I suppose they'll deal with what's living in my head..

Pueblo town is frightening in the dark
Cheryl's on patrol from 12 till dawn!
Beaves is banging rose all night again...
Vankook makes a lot of things man
Hey! JD ate all the wings man
While Bob gaunt naps in the sheriffs chair again...OH NO!!!!

(funky little music break)

Pueblo town is frightening in the dark
where your worst enemies are your best friends
Liam got socked in the jaw again
Now I'm feelin kinda shitty
Because Ross melted my kitty
and Bruno's starting up her gang of kids! OH NO!!!!

WHOA NO!!!!!!
(music till the end)

He's One for the Maze
(To the tune of John Lennon's "Imagine" )
Parody by Tracy Hatchett

Imagine there's no Harrowed
Its easy if you try
No Rattlers below us
No Chinese behind
Imagine all the people
Staying in their graves Oh oh

Imagine there's no dead guy
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to be chased or die for
And no explosions too
Imagine all the people
Staying in one piece Oh oh

Chorus:
You may say that I'm a traitor
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
Cause we could use another gun.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No zombie lust or hunger
the world is left to man
Imagine all the people
Sharing what they can Oh oh.

Parody of “Nookie”

Words by Limp Bizkit
Parody by: Mike Golczynski

I came into this world as a mutant
Hated and despised
Cos I looked a lot like a plant
There’re atoms in my past
They’re burning up my brain
Every time I cast a spell its
eating up my strain
Hey, I think about the day
It all went down like rain with the pain
The horsemen came to play
And now instead I’ve got grass on my head
And I'm just a mutant and I could wind up dead
Like a plant, hey
Should I use atomic blast
Should I use EMP
It’s kinda sad that I’m a live atrocity
And you would think That I could play it down
But I'm a plant man like I said
Green about the head, NOT
And maybe God just made a mistake
And I should Give him a break
I’ll Mow my hair either way
Hey, what the hell, what you want me to say
I won’t lie that I came to fry
I did it all for the nukey
C’mon the nukey
C’mon
It’s gonna make you pukey
But you gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast yo.
(repeat)

Why Am I Tall and green…why?
Am I overgrown…huh?
I figured it out without s'Silas
But I still run and hide from that chick Joan and her Schismatics
I can’t believe that now I am received (like a freak)
Uglier than sin, but in reality
Just a regular person
With different pigment, a weird complexion
I’m green and I’m leafy
Like a plant, hey
I did it all for the nukey
C’mon the nukey
C’mon
Its gonna make you pukey
But you gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast your… spells
Gotta cast your… spells
Gotta cast yo
(repeat)

Not even human
The purple robes will give you their advice
They’ll tell you to love the glow
That’s easier said than done
I appreciate it I do, but leave me alone
Leave me alone, just leave me alone
Nuthin’s gonna change
I’ll always look this way
The green is gonna stay
And always be the same
(repeat 2x)
I did it all for the nukey
C’mon the nukey
C’mon
It’s gonna make you pukey
But you gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast your…spells
Gotta cast yo…
(repeat)

Pretty Slow for a Harrowed

Sung to "Pretty Fly (For a While Guy)"
Parady by Mike Golczynski

(Cheryl shoot em in the head em)
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
And all the demons say He’s pretty slow for a harrowed
(Uno Dos tres quatro cinco cinco seis)
You know it’s kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn’t live
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a pulse
And his skin may rot away
His Manitou is pissed
Well He’ll lose control one day

CHORUS

So walk down wind, His stench offends
No one loves him. Even vagrants think he smells
He’s just undead. Protects his head
From you all day, from you all day
If you lose control, Sit back and let it roll.
And then That thing in your head will begin to take It’s toll
Give up your dominion and
HEY! HEY! Give him total reign!
How ya doin Zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin Zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin Zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
Uno Dos Tres Quatro Cinco cinco seis!
He needs some more perfume
Not just any will suffice
Cause His skin it smells so bad
It offends even his lice
Now ordering some whiskey, He sees
Preachers as they pass
But if he looks Twice They’re gonna
shoot his undead ass

CHORUS

Now he’s heading to the whorehouse
He needs to get it done
He bought the high priced whore but
She wasn’t that much fun
His penis wouldn’t get hard
It hung there quite limp
He covered himself and
Let the dominion flip!
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
How ya doin zombie?
Need brains! Need brains!
(uno dos tres quatro cinco cinco seis)